ROGER KIMBALL ON THE STATE OF EVENTS….HILARIOUS

Hillary Sees the Gorilla. It’s Large.

Posted By Roger Kimball

Here’s one of those headlines that makes you feel almost sorry for the legacy (formerly the “mainstream”) media:

Hillary Clinton fears al-Qaeda is obtaining nuclear weapons material [1]

Is this bulletin from the London Times . . . news? I mean, is the substance of the story news? Possibly, the wife of Bill Clinton just discovered the hefty gorilla lounging in the drawing room. Since she also just happens to be Secretary of State (remind me: how did that happen?), you have to wonder. But the rest of us have long known, as the Times courteously reminds us, that “As far back as 1998, Osama bin Laden stated that it was his Islamic duty to acquire and use weapons of mass destruction.”

Well, then, if it’s his religious duty (we can’t call it “Islamic” [2] any more, can we?), I guess we’ll have to say OK, what?

We can cross that bridge when we come to it — which, as it happens, may be sooner than our masters in Washington have reckoned.

I have been unable to confirm rumors that the Obama administration has contracted with the estate of the abstract artist Ken Noland to redecorate Washington and other major cities. Readers will recall that Noland’s signature work looks an awful lot like a target you might use in archery practice. [3]

Whether Noland knock-offs will begin appearing on major buildings and military installations I do not know. But it really doesn’t matter. The President has effectively drawn targets over all American interests with his words [4]. By announcing his intention to “substantially narrow the conditions” under which America would use nuclear weapons, Obama put everyone on notice that, although the United States would certainly prefer not to be attacked, if we were attacked we would be certain to respond cautiously.

Here’s what the White House Press Office (from their New York bureau, also known as The New York Times [5]) had to say:

For the first time, the United States is explicitly committing not to use nuclear weapons against nonnuclear states that are in compliance with the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty, even if they attacked the United States with biological or chemical weapons or launched a crippling cyberattack.

I am sure, as I put it in this space a few days ago, that you all feel much safer [4] now.

But here is Obama’s Secretary of State, the former junior Senator from New York (and how did that happen?), discovering that our enemies are . . . our enemies. Who knew? Fortunately, the President has summoned dipomats from 47 countries to Washington today to discuss the threat of nuclear materials winding up in the wrong hands.

Fortunately, too, there is already in place a “Convention for the Suppression of Acts of Nuclear Terrorism,” though we are still waiting for a few countries to sign on. (Who will sign for Osama bin Laden?) We can all breathe a sigh of relief when the ink dries on that document. Everyone knows that if you have a treaty forbidding some bad thing, that bad thing can never happen.

It’s the same thing, you know, with promises and oaths. You probably remember this one from Article II, Section 1 of the U.S. Constitution: “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

I feel so much better already, don’t you?


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