RUTHFULLY YOURS

http://politicalmavens.com/

It seems that Anthony Weiner goofed by not hiring a top professional p.r. firm that specializes in damage control for the walking stupid.  He may still end up doing that but it’s a pricey proposition and if he wants to go the cheaper route, I have ten suggestions:

1)  Find a black ancestor in his family tree, preferably one who was a slave or at least a maid in the south.  Color has erased numerous black marks for Charles Rangel and Al Sharpton.

2)  Consider the ultimate confession of having done lewd things with women in order to deflect the real truth – that he is gay.  This has been a successful ploy for former governor McGreevey who also utilized Item 3.

3)  Find religion.  Enroll in rabbinical school, Alcoholics Anonymous or any seminary with a vow of silence.  (In Weiner’s case, the last may prove beyond his abilities).  In addition to the aforementioned McGreevey, this has worked well for Watergate’s Chuck Olson and the Reverend Jesse Jackson.

4)  Have a heart attack.  Although Bill Clinton was socially rehabilitated before this happened, his illness managed to cause total amnesia on the part of the press and political opponents and he has now achieved the sanctified spot relinquished by the saintly Ted Kennedy.

5)  Become an organ donor and save someone’s life.  This is something that not even the Octomom or the Kardashians have done yet and it has the surefire effect of a bullet-proof vest, especially if the life saved is a photogenic child or a woman who looks like Salma Hayek.

6)  Volunteer to serve in Afghanistan for six months.  This gets him off the front page of The Post while he’s in uniform and also ensures that he won’t be exposing or photographing his parts while the Taliban is nearby.

7)  Move to Israel.  Now that Meyer Lansky is dead, there’s an opening for another American who needs to leave town in order to save his neck.

8)  Negotiate with a cable channel for a Weiner talk show for the deaf in which he does all the talking.  Elliot Spitzer seems happy on CNN and this could be a challenging opportunity that might also come with a government grant.

9)  Hope that Alec Baldwin does decide to run for mayor.  Once the press and media revive the tapes of his haranguing his pre-teen daughter and calling her a selfish pig, Weiner’s indiscretions with older girls will turn a shade lighter.

10)  Recognize that resigning now opens the door for a book deal, HBO special, appearance on the Jon Stewart show for some back-slapping buddy bonhomie and eventually, a career as a political pundit a la Dick Morris on the Fox channel.

Spin like a dreidl congressman –  America loves second acts.