RUTHFULLY YOURS

http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/index.php

Q- Why does Turkey spend around $5 billion every year on new weaponry while it strictly adheres to a policy that calls for zero problems with its neighbors?

a) Because it secretly plans to invade Bolivia and, that failing, Papua New Guinea.

b) Because it fears military aggression from Armenia and Georgia.

c) Because it hopes to liberate al-Quds one day.

Q- Is there a linkage between Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan’s perpetual call to major powers in recent years to strip Israel of its nuclear capabilities and the ostensibly imminent risk of armed conflict between Turkey and Israel?

a) Probably not.

b) No.

c) Certainly not.

Q- When will Mr. Erdoğan remember to apply his fiercely pro-democracy, pro-Arab Spring rhetoric to countries like Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Jordan?

a) In 2026

b) In 2036

c) In 2009 after his scientists have invented the time machine.

Q- Does Mr. Erdogan think that the ruthless crackdown on Bahrain’s Shiite majority by the ruling Sunni leader, Khalifa bin Salman al-Khalifa, constitutes oppression of Muslims? Does he believe that Mr. al-Khalifa’s rule over the last 31 years constitutes democracy and the will of the nation? Can it be called a democracy when the country’s largest opposition party holds just five seats in a 300-member assembly?

a) Since when are Shiites Muslims?

b) 31 years? Oh, time flies!

c) Five seats? But that’s too many!

Q- Whose radar is the NATO radar to be deployed on Turkish soil? Can the data from that radar be integrated with data from the similar U.S. radar now sitting on Israeli soil? Who is lying, since the Turks say the data from the radar on Turkish territory cannot be shared with Israel while the Americans say it very well can?

a) Depends on which audience we are talking to.

b) It’s a Muslim radar, so it will automatically refuse to integrate data with the Israeli radar.

c) Muslims don’t lie.

Q- How much does Mr. Erdogan agree with the top members of the Iranian political clergy who argue that Muslim countries should not serve NATO’s interests?

a) It depends on who says that

b) It depends on who says that and when

c) It depends on who says that and when and why

Q- Was Tuesday’s deadly blast at the heart of Ankara an act of terror?

a) Yes.

b) Yes.

c) Yes.

Q- Who was responsible for the explosion?

a) Ergenekon

b) Israel

c) Ergenekon and Israel

Q- Why has Hamas fired more than 7,000 rockets and mortars – including 170 rockets just last month – onto Israeli soil since Israel withdrew from the Gaza Strip in 2005?

a) For a landmark peace with Israel.

b) For a landmark piece of Israel.

c) Muslim don’t fire rockets.

Q- Were the blasts in Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, Haifa and elsewhere in Israel in previous years acts of terror?

a) Muslims don’t commit terrorism.

b) Muslims don’t kill.

c) Muslims don’t…

Q- Are Cyprus’ ambitions to drill on its southern coast legitimate?

a) It’s a provocation!

b) We’ll freeze our relations with the EU!

c) We’ll sink the drilling platform!

Q- Will, then, Turkey take this illegitimate act to The Hague, or to the UN?

a) Well, maybe…

b) Well, we want zero problems with our neighbors.

c) There is no state called Cyprus (hint from Mr. Erdoğan)

Q- How soon will Turkey’s emerging alliance with Egypt collapse?

a) In one year

b) In two years

c) When Turkey and Egypt get tired of each other and find new Muslim allies

Q- Why did the Abu Nidal peace and charity organization gun down 22 worshippers at the Neve Shalom synagogue in Istanbul on a Sabbath morning in 1986?

a) For a landmark peace with Israel.

b) For a landmark piece of Israel.

c) Muslims don’t gun down worshippers.