RUTHFULLY YOURS

The other day, I learned that President Obama has canceled our Mars Rover explorations, along with all other planetary missions. NASA’s science mission chief just quit in disgust, and who can blame him? Apparently, even robots’ lives are too precious for us to risk these days, so America is giving up the thrill of discovering space.

While I was stewing over the news that the Russians will now take over our Mars missions (the Red Planet is turning that kind of Red), I decided to relax by watching the Super Bowl — just in time to see the lights blow out.

It’s getting humiliating to be American; don’t you think? The only thing we’re Number One at anymore is embarrassing ourselves in front of the world. Once upon a time, we were admired as Can-Do America; now we can’t even manage to keep on the lights.

Here’s a quick list of some things we’re giving up these days, with little more than a shrug: Making babies (lowest birth rate since 1920). Saturday mail delivery. The Constitution. Hostess Twinkies (though there’s a ray of hope for them). And the natural order of the sexes.

That last remark could refer to a thousand things, but I’m specifically thinking of the madcap decision to send women into combat. Who’s going to fight to the death to protect the home front when the hottest girls are in the next bunk?

Of course, it only makes sense to send co-eds to fight if you’ve already given up on the concept of victory, which, in case you haven’t noticed, we most definitely have.

Remember when Obama said on TV, chuckling in an ironic-David-Letterman-kind-of-way, that he was “always worried about using the word ‘victory,’ because, you know, it invokes this notion of Emperor Hirohito coming down and signing a surrender to MacArthur”?

Well, once the Commander-in-Chief openly mocks the very idea of winning wars, we might as well go right ahead and turn the military into one big pajama party of girls and gays. Why not?

In fact, I breathlessly await the inevitable appearance of Brigadier General RuPaul on the national scene. But, hey, maybe I’m not giving Obama enough credit. Maybe Obama’s secret plan is to have our enemies laugh themselves to death.

And speaking of enemies, China may have big plans for our natural resources, now that we’ve decided to give up on them, too. Obama has been busily locking up our oil and gas supplies, most recently 1.6 million acres of federal land in the oil-rich west.

Journalist Erik Rush reports that Obama and China have secretly brokered a deal in which we’ll repay our trillions of dollars of debt by giving China the oil and gas in our federal lands. Sounds crazy, right? Well, maybe, but lots of crazy things happen to nations that spectacularly give up on fiscal sanity. And running up a $16 trillion debt that’s bigger than the entire U.S. economy may sound clever to Paul Krugman, but to us regular folks without Nobel Prizes, it’s obviously nuts.

Now that America is a non-stop Giving Up Festival, I guess the day will come when each one of us has to figure out if there’s something in our lives that’s so precious, so vital, so inalienable, that we just won’t give it up, no matter what. I’ve thought about this question long and hard, and I hope you won’t judge me as too ridiculously trivial when I tell you what I’ve decided: it’s my hair.

Maybe I’d feel differently if I had dull, stringy locks, but the fact of the matter is I have extremely nice hair, mostly due to constant applications of cash to my stylist Sonia, and I refuse to hide it under a burqa.

And the reason I’m bringing this up is because America is also busily giving up our freedom and surrendering to Islam. We’re letting Iran go nuclear. We’re hoisting the Muslim Brotherhood to power in Egypt and supplying them with F-16 fighter planes and 200 Abrams tanks. We’re passively watching as our Libyan Ambassador gets murdered, raped and dragged through the streets by Al Qaeda thugs.

And here on the home front, we’re surrendering like there’s no tomorrow, which, practically speaking, there isn’t. We’re importing Muslims at record-breaking speeds, doubling their numbers since 9/11, and making Islam the fastest-growing religion in the United States.

We’re pretending that jihadi attacks on our troops at Fort Hood and Little Rock, Arkansas are “workplace violence” and “street crime.” And we’re making believe that the dangerous Muslim Brotherhood penetration of our government is really a grand, multicultural celebration.

If things keep up, and they will, it’s only a matter of time before Shariah Patrols prowl the streets of American cities, the way they’re doing right this minute in London. Watch the videos of Muslim men telling British men to get rid of their alcohol and ordering British girls to cover up, and get used to what’s coming.

So that’s why I’ve decided: my bottom line is my hair. No matter how many shariah enforcers roam the streets, I’m going to keep right on publicly exposing my naked, gleaming tresses whenever and wherever I want. And, yes, I may even flounce and flaunt them, too. So there.

Oh, and here’s another thing I’m not giving up: free speech. Recently, the man who’s supposed to be our president proclaimed to the United Nations, “The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam.” To which I say: Speak for yourself, pal. I’ll slander the prophet of Islam anytime I like. For instance, right now. Mohammed stinks.

See? I’m not giving up.

Stella Paul’s new ebook is What I Miss About America: Reflections from the Golden Age of Hope and Change, available at Amazon for just $1.99. Write Stella at Stellapundit@aol.com.