Back in the West after an extended stint amid the burning sands, our correspondent recalls the Wahabi way and wonders why so many are so eager to overlook what makes Islam what it is: a contemptuous and thinly veiled intolerance for all other creeds.
There is an old Irish joke: A new Pope was on his first tour of Ireland when he found himself alone in the back of a limo. He reached forward, tapped on the window and said to the driver, “You know the thing I miss most about being a Pope is that I can’t drive — someone drives you everywhere. Would you mind swapping places so that I can enjoy the feeling of driving in this fine country”. The young driver protested that he would lose his job, but was eventually persuaded.
The lead-footed Pontiff took the driver’s seat and the limo went hurtling down the narrow roads, soon passing a policeman, who pulled the vehicle over. Upon recognising the driver, the policeman called his sergent for advice. “I don’t care who it is,” the young cop was told. “Book him!”
“But this is the highest VIP you can imagine,” protested the policeman, “I don’t recognise who’s in the back, but he must be important because the Pope is his driver”.
In many jokes, you can switch the characters’ race or religion and they will still be regarded as harmless and funny. In today’s world, you cannot safely switch the religion to Muslim. And quite rightly, for Islam is no laughing matter (unlike Catholics and Jews, who are fair game), because Islam truly is the True Religion, and just as important, it is the Religion of Peace.
Let me explain to all the unsympathetic Kaffirs out there.
My name is Mahammad, not to be confused with Mahammad PBUH, who died many years ago. This can be confusing, particularly in a room full of Mahammads, which often happens in Saudi Arabia (where naming sons after Mahammad PBUH is almost mandatory, and adding names like Kalifa (chief) and Al Kalifa (THE chief) doesn’t help much. As to naming daughters, well, who cares? When referring to Mahammad PBUH one must ensure “peace be upon him” or the abbreviation, follows immediately after the name. When referring to me, PBUH must not be used. To do that would be blasphemy, and in that neck of the woods blasphemers are only a stone’s throw from a grisly death.