When the jihadists slaughtered the cartoonists of Charlie Hebdo, I worried that they had killed satire.
But Charlie Hebdo produced this week’s issue on schedule.
Alas, however, satire is now officially dead. Earlier today, the US Secretary of State flew James Taylor into Paris to sing “You’ve Got A Friend” to the French nation. Seriously. Under Bush, extrajudicial rendition meant the CIA shipping you overseas to be tortured by the Saudis and Pakistanis. Under Obama, an extrajudicial rendition means shipping fey old folkies to Europe to torture the natives:
I’m in Europe myself at the moment and I was shocked when someone said to me, “Did you hear about the huge bomb in Paris?” It took me a couple of minutes to realize she was talking about Kerry’s press conference.
But, as I said, satire is dead.
It was the French who dubbed America l’hyperpuissance – the hyperpower. But now the hyperpower is the hippiepower – and who doesn’t love that? Following his rendition of “You’ve Got A Friend”, James Taylor saluted the visiting mullahs from Qom with the Ayatollah Khomeini’s favorite song, “How Sweet It Is (to be loved by ewes)”.
Barack Obama then joined John Kerry on stage for a moving duet of “I’m So Vain (I prob’ly think this song is about me)”, after which Secretary Kerry updated us on the latest talks with Teheran with a highly nuanced version of Joni Mitchell’s “(I’ve looked at Iranian mushroom clouds from) Both Sides Now”.
His lovely wife Teresa then delighted the French audience with a riveting selection of slides of the Kerrys’ home in Boston as she and John sang Crosby, Stills and Nash’s “Our House (is a very very very fine house).” Mahmoud Abbas got into the spirit and serenaded the Secretary of State with the Beatles’ “Hey, Jew!”, but Mr Kerry explained that was just one great-grandfather and it was a long time ago back in the Hapsburg Empire.