We don’t have an adult political system. What we do have is a political system in which childish tactics are used to play childish games with adult consequences. As described by Dr. Berne in Games People Play, “games” are dysfunctional strategies that can be used by adults to elicit childish or parental responses. Childish strategies shift responsibility to the “parent” while still claiming power. An adult who acts like a child gets to control what happens without being responsible for it.
(This article uses a very loose adaptation of Berne’s Games People Play as a model.)
When the left shifted from a worker’s movement to a youth movement because dissatisfaction was more likely to be found in the children of the middle and upper classes than among workers, protest strategies often became childish. The classic protesters were self-consciously juvenile outraging sensibilities so to force their establishment opponents to play the role of the sanctimonious parent while they reveled in being the liberated children. “Outrage” is a game that children learn to play at an early age. Some adults never stop playing it, at parties or at family reunions.
The modern campus crybully movement doesn’t seek to outrage sensibilities by being provocative. Instead it’s playing an even more immature childish game. The Yale protest over “offensive” Halloween costumes was the perfect example as a student screamed, “It is your job to create a place of comfort and home for the students who live in Silliman.” This is the “Bad Parent” game.
Protesters, whether on campus or at #BlackLivesMatter events scream about their pain and how neglected they are. They claim to be traumatized, exhausted, in fear of their lives and unable to go about their daily business because the adults aren’t taking good care of them. They’re bad parents.
The classic protesters were playing children outraging parental sensibilities. The modern protesters claim to be abused children who need safe spaces and protection from bullying. They demand the right to be children while everyone must adopt the role of parents and coddle them. Tears, outbursts and tantrums glorified as “die ins” in which everyone lies on the floor reinforce their childish case.
The “Crybully” is a perfect example of adults using childish behavior to achieve their demands while forcing their opponents into a parental mode. The protesters openly disavow responsibility for their own behavior and demand that administrators, authorities and society stop being bad parents.
“Bad Parent” is a further regression to childhood than “Outrage”. Its origins go back directly to the coddled baby. Crybullies achieve their political goals using a childish strategies in which they use power while claiming to be powerless and demand that those who have power do what they want.
There are two ways to counter this protest style. The adult approach is to insist that the protesters are adults and must be responsible. Rather than falling into the parental style which reproves and plays into the psychodrama, the adult style is to reject the entire dynamic and hold them responsible.
The more familiar way is to meet them on a childish level by taunting and ridiculing their childishness. This can be emotionally satisfying. But it plays into the psychodrama, riling up the crybullies to further cries that they are being picked on. The authorities are pressured to stop being “bad parents” and protect them. Enough taunting may lead the crybullies to overplay their hand, but it is at least as likely to lead to crackdowns on free speech. This already occurred on Twitter.
