Between you and me, I’m in favor of deporting every single Dreamer just because of the stupid name “Dreamer”.
Failing that, I’m in favor of deporting Senators-for-Life Dick Durbin and Orrin Hatch, who sponsored the original “DREAM Act”, which failed. That’s to say, despite repeated efforts over the course of this century, it has not become law. It’s not an act, it’s a bill – and a flop bill, which means it’s just a pile of moldering papers sitting somewhere in the basement of the Orrin Hatch Archive and Senatorial Library soon to be built in Utah.
Readers will know I strongly dislike the contemporary habit of acronymic legislation: The “DREAM Act” is, more precisely, the Development, Relief, and Education for Alien Minors Act. The Tea Act that so excited His Majesty’s subjects in British North America was, in fact, called “An act to allow a drawback of the duties of customs on the exportation of tea or oil to any of his Majesty’s colonies or plantations in America; to increase the deposit on bohea tea to be sold at the East India Company’s sales; and to empower the Commissioners of the Treasury to grant licenses to the East India Company to export tea duty-free”. If only Lord North had thought to call it the TASTY Act (Telling Americans we’re Still Taxing You), the whole unpleasantness of the Boston Tea Party and subsequent events might have been avoided.
But the DREAM Act is not merely an example of fatuous aconyms. It also demonstrates the larger point I’ve made over the years – of how culture trumps politics. The DREAM Act bombed as politics, but the stupid name took hold in the culture – to whit:
DREAMers Like Me Have Flourished Under DACA. Trump Might Take It All Away
…and a zillion other headlines: “The Dreamers Are Ready to Fight President Trump.” “This Dreamer Is Ready to Go to the Army. Will Trump Let Him?” “Congress, It’s Up to You to Protect the Dreamers.” Etc.
So we have gone from “illegal aliens” to “undocumented workers” to “Dreamers”. And Republican voters wonder why they never win anything. Sixty years ago, the US Government was happy to call its “comprehensive immigration reform” plans “Operation Wetback”, and President Eisenhower was willing to use the term in public. Now we expect jelly-spined finger-in-the-windy legislators to stand firm against “Dreamers”. Yeah, right. As for Europe, if Chancellor Merkel and the EU start calling their legions of sturdy young Muslim “refugees” Dreamers, it’s game over.
Okay, if it’s unreasonable to deport a fine upstanding colossus of the Democrats such as Dick Durbin, could we at least deport Orrin Hatch? A former Republican presidential candidate, he was all over the airwaves yesterday claiming to be tough on border enforcement …but only once we’ve legalized all these “Dreamers”. Presumably it was some obscure staffer of Durbin’s, acting at the behest of the lobbyists, who came up with the beguiling name “DREAM Act”. But Hatch might have understood the concession he was making. The sentimentalization of public affairs that accompanies these acronymic abominations is embarrassing to a self-governing republic in and of itself. But it’s especially damaging on this particular question – because mass unskilled immigration is the biggest issue facing the western world right now, and that grotesque sentimentalization embodied by hogwash like “Dreamers” makes mature, rational discussion of public policy impossible. Republican voters have minimal expectations of the likes of Orrin Hatch, but they had at least the right to expect he would have grasped something that basic.
“I’m A Dreamer. Aren’t We All?” as Janet Gaynor sagely observed in Sunny Side Up. I dream of a villa on Lake Como, but I don’t see why the Italian government should be in the least bit interested in my dreams, or in adjusting their laws to accommodate me. As the founder of Davos, Klaus Schwab, has speculated:
Imagine one billion inhabitants [of the developing world], imagine they all move north.
I ran his math:
A billion man march, eh? The population of the developed world – North America, the European Union, Japan, Oz, NZ – is about a billion. Of the remaining six billion people around the planet, is it really so absurd to think that one-sixth of them would “move north” if they could?
As we had cause to reflect on Labor Day, no developed nation in the year 2017 needs mass immigration. To judge from the press coverage, the average DACA beneficiary is a twelve-year-old beatific moppet. In fact, Obama amnestied those aged 30 and under in 2012 – which means some of them are 36 now, which means (given that they’re either undocumented or using fraudulent documents) some of these dreaming moppets are in their forties. No matter. Those who aren’t telegenic infants are, we’re assured, serving in the US Army or helping with Harvey relief. As Tucker Carlson scoffed last night, the proportion of Dreamers serving in the military is tiny. And as a statistic it might be more useful if we could compare it to the number of Dreamers serving in, say, MS-13.
Yet Orrin Hatch assures us that Dreamers have to be “of good character”. And DACA supposedly requires that a Dreamer…
.. has not been convicted of a felony, significant misdemeanor, or three or more other misdemeanors, and do not otherwise pose a threat to national security or public safety.
But this is rubbish. First, because US Immigration checks nothing. (I was told at the time of my own application that the relevant bureaucrat would spend six minutes on it, which is not enough time to read it, never mind check it. And I would imagine that since then the time allocation has only shrunk.) Second, because anyone with even the most casual acquaintance with the dank toilet of the US justice system knows that all over the map criminals are pleading down felonies to misdemeanors every minute of the day (a career criminal who stole from me did it in New Hampshire just last year). Third, because, thanks to the genius jurists of the Supreme Court, criminal aliens are specifically required to be advised of any immigration implications to their case, and so prosecutors more or less routinely tell them to cop a deal to avoid attracting the attentions of ICE.
That’s to say, the left hand of government tells Americans not to worry, no felons are eligible – while the right hand of government is frantically pleading down felonies to misdemeanors precisely in order that the felons remain eligible.