Baseball Home Runs Blamed on Global Warming It’s basic physics. Daniel Greenfield
https://www.frontpagemag.com/baseball-home-runs-blamed-on-global-warming/
Americans, at least liberal ones, lost the right to make fun of Lysenkoism, phrenology and every bit of stupid pseudoscience some years back. Ever since, “the science” has become someone’s idea of an absurd routine, part Peter Sellers and part South Park, in which the goal is to say completely absurd things with a straight face.
At the current rate of descent into absurdity, it takes the occasional new low to even get any attention.
Climate change is making major league sluggers into even hotter hitters, sending an extra 50 or so home runs a year over the fences, a new study found.
It’s basic physics.
When air heats up, molecules move faster and away from each other, making the air less dense. Baseballs launched off a bat go farther through thinner air because there’s less resistance to slow the ball.
That also probably explains the four-minute mile. We think it’s a lesson about self-confidence, but actually the only reason Roger Bannister was able to do it and so many after him was because of global warming. He was able to run faster because the air was thinner due to global warming. It’s basic physics.
Also, Alex Ovechkin’s NHL record is probably best explained by global warming. As the ice melts due to global warming, goals become easier to score. It’s basic physics.
The latest research also shows that Michael Jordan’s entire career was due to global warming. It’s just basic physics. As the global warming particles penetrate the basketball, it becomes lighter. So do basketball shoes. The event horizon around the hoop is then hyperaccelerated through the 12th dimension every time someone uses a disposable plastic plate.
The good news is that all sorts of records can now be broken as long as we just keep driving gas cars and feeding environmental consultants to packs of hungry wolves.
It’s basic physics.
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