Defacing the Constitution Should Land You in Prison By Kayla Bartsch
Among this past week’s brainless and woke happenings (but I repeat myself), one event in particular stuck out. Two “climate activists” decided that desecrating the nation’s most sacred document, the U.S. Constitution, was the best way to garner support for their cause.
These two men — who look like malnourished vegans paying out-of-pocket for a Ph.D. in Peace Studies — dumped reddish-pink powder over themselves and the Constitution’s display case on Wednesday afternoon.
Why the reddish-pink powder? Who knows. (It probably symbolizes the blood of an endangered wombat, or something.) What is certain, however, is that the particulate substance has been hard to remove.
Subsequent analysis revealed that the powder dumped on the case was a mixture of pigment powder and cornstarch. The resulting substance was so fine that an industrial vacuum could hardly pick it up, nor could the powdered pigment be cleaned with water because it would just turn into paint.
While none of the substance penetrated the bulletproof case, the stunt still proved a headache for the Archives staff to clean and forced the National Archives to stay closed for days — a major letdown for all of the families visiting the capital with the express purpose of making a pilgrimage to the text’s temple.
The pasty duo enacted their stunt unhindered by the “security guards” at the National Archives. Nearly four minutes passed before the clods were stopped.
A video posted on X showcases the pair’s protest, notable for its lackluster performance:
Guy with glasses: We are determined to foment a rebellion. We will not be held account to loss [sic] in which we have no voice for representation.
Guy with mustache: This country is founded on the conditions that all men are created for . . . created equally, and endowed with the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. We’re calling for all people to have all these rights, not just wealthy white men. We all deserve clean air, water, food, and a livable climate.
Glasses: Right now there are millions of climate refugees in the United States alone . . .
Mustache: We need to change systems and value the lives and wellbeing of people over the profits of the many!
Glasses: We need to declare a climate emergency, President Biden, please declare a climate emergency . . . It’s terrifying! We need to act like we’re terrified, or else no one else will believe it’s really bad as it is.
(At that point, the guards shooed everyone else but the protesters out of the building.)
Let’s refresh ourselves on American law, shall we? According to §2383 of the United States Code,
Whoever incites, sets on foot, assists, or engages in any rebellion or insurrection against the authority of the United States or the laws thereof, or gives aid or comfort thereto, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than ten years, or both; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States.
As a reminder, these two men both desecrated the founding legal document of the United States of America and said that they were “determined to foment a rebellion.” Okay, maybe these aren’t actual insurrectionists — but the Archivist of the United States Colleen Shogan did say in a statement: “We take such vandalism very seriously and we will insist that the perpetrators be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.”
Hell would have to freeze over for D.C. prosecutors to give these guys their due, but one can hope.
Comments are closed.
