THE POLITICAL “MIRACLES” OF CHANUKAH BY LARRY LEVINE *****
We are in the season of Miracles, Chanukah, the festival of lights, Festivus, and our Presidential election.
To the amazing miracles we have all recently observed in a year bereft of many.
Yes, 2020 will go down as a very “interesting” year, a year of miracles and coincidences.
First, the miracles of our election, the defining event of our generation.
A few weeks after the election, a vaccine was announced from not one but at least three major pharmaceutical companies. Anthony Fauci and major media had criticized Trump for asserting that a vaccine would be ready by the election. Fauci and the Trump detractors all changed their minds when the pharmaceutical companies announced this … when the coast was clear.
Those companies compete with the immaculate conception for birthing these vaccines without any help from operation “warp” speed from the Trump administration.
Yes, it is a miracle.
In a “Festivus” miracle not seen for generations, Donald Trump received ten million more votes than he did in 2016. Everyone went to sleep on Nov 3 thinking that Trump would win in a landslide but alas, millions of votes appeared late at night out of nowhere to give Joe Biden the lead strategically only in the four most crucial swing states.
More miracles to observe:
Dead people arose only to vote for Biden and then go back to their long eternal sleep, or the next Democrat election.
With time running out, Democrat voters could take one vote and extend them out to 8 or more by running it through the machine multiple times, it is a MIRACLE.
There was a “flood” of epic proportions not seen since the red sea parted; the state farm arena in Georgia was closed, leaving only a few Democrats to count the absentee ballots without Republican observers until late in the evening.
It turned out to be a toilet that overflowed.
I cannot think of a better analogy for this election.
States changed the laws at the last minute in Pennsylvania and other swing states, enabling the absentee ballots to be counted even if there were no dates on the envelopes and even if the signatures didn’t match the ones on file. This helped the innumerable hordes of schizophrenics and dementia patients who don’t know where or who they are.
Speaking of Dementia patients. It will be a real Festivus miracle if Joe Biden lasts more than six months until the real President Kamala Harris is installed in his place.
Due to hugging committee chairman Graham after the hearing on Amy Coney Barrett, Diane Feinstein is being pushed out of her position on the judiciary committee due to her “failing faculties.” Remember this when it is repeated later this spring with Biden.
There was the miracle of removing ALL negative news before the election about Hunter Biden, Kamala Harris China, or evidence of the phony Russia hoax.
People on the left stopped taking Zoloft because they didn’t have to hear any bad information about their candidate since Twitter, Facebook, Google, and the mainstream media banned all dissent. Yes, the RUSSIANS were defeated this time. Thank God; however, you cannot thank God because Cuomo et al. have forbidden it.
The over 50 former intelligence officers saved us from hearing about Hunter Bidens, Jim Bidens, and perhaps Joe
Biden’s world-class influence-peddling machine. THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING. Until they didn’t.
Minutes after the day of the election Twitter, Facebook, Google removed or put disclaimers on anyone who dared write anything about the election not being fair.
This cleared the way for more ads to hit our mailboxes for ED cures, articles on Russian disinformation, and saving money on our car insurance.
A real Festivus miracle.
Eric Swalwell is the only person left in the US that has been felled by a new Russian and Trump disinformation campaign. He didn’t sleep with a Chinese spy, and he didn’t hire a Chinese spy intern from the women he didn’t’ sleep with. Don’t worry this is all okay according to Nancy Pelosi.
Swalwell’s Chinese spy girlfriend was saved by our FBI, who alerted her about the investigation, and she disappeared back in China. She is probably being held prisoner in a Chinese fortune cookie factory with Diane Feinstein’s 20-years long Chinese spy personal driver.
Riots and BLM protests have miraculously halted as soon as the election was over, wasting perfect wood planks over retail store windows. Wood planks put up for the hordes of right-wing voters who never showed up to the riot.
The final miracle of the season that I can report is a Democrat dreidel. When it is spun, it always lands on the Gimel for a WIN. However, there is a disclosure on the box that says Joe Biden receives ten percent of all winnings, or else.
Another Chanukah Miracle.
Larry Levine
@parler
@larrymarklevine
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