Climate Protesters Glue Themselves to a Floor. Hilarity Ensues. By Lincoln Brown
“Failing to plan is planning to fail.” I forget where I first saw that line. I think it was on a sign on a wall in some place I worked in college, and variations of it have appeared in countless places over the years. As ubiquitous and pedantic as it may be, the saying is true, as a group of climate protesters in Germany have discovered. And they paid the price for not thinking ahead.
On Wednesday, nine climate activists calling themselves members of Scientist Rebellion broke into the Autostadt Museum, in Wolfsburg, Germany, across the street from the Volkswagen plant. According to the Daily Mail, They proceeded to super glue their hands to the floor of the Porsche exhibit because you know, all of the cool activists are gluing themselves to things these days.
One may assume that they would sit until Volkswagen agreed to lobby for decarbonization in the transportation industry and the German government agreed to lower the speed limit. The Blaze stated that the protesters said that Volkswagen supported their right to protest, but that apparently was as far as the company was willing to go.
For a group of people who call themselves scientists, how is it that they forgot about that little thing called biology? The human body needs to eat, drink, and, of course, relieve itself. But there they sat, amid a leftist version of the game Twister (Right hand, glue!), and as the old song goes, eat, nor drink, nor potty had they none.
They griped that they had not been given bowls into which they could urinate and defecate, and they could not order the food they wanted since people were allowed to leave the museum but not return. They had to rely on whatever Volkswagen provided. Furthermore, Volkswagen had the audacity to turn the heat and lights off. Volkswagen owns the building, and Volkswagen pays the bills. Volkswagen gets to turn the lights off if it wants.
Not that anyone really wants to know, but just how were they planning to relieve themselves into bowls with one hand glued to the floor? Did they practice that? Was there a yoga practitioner who coached them before the event? “Now, downward facing dog… breathe, let your chakras align… and don’t forget to wipe.”
Looks like none of those concerns were even considered. The demonstrators made the actual protest the number one priority. So much so that they actually forgot about number one. And, apparently, number two. It never occurred to them that while Volkswagen may have supported their right to protest, the company was never under any obligation to cater to it. One protester who said he was on a hunger strike complained of a swollen hand which he had covered in super glue. He was at a risk for blood clots and agreed to leave to seek medical help.
Of note, the most effective way to remove super glue is to dissolve it. Using acetone. Which is a petroleum product. Which is hilarious.
Shortly thereafter, the cops arrived and packed everyone off. So what was accomplished? Volkswagen got some good publicity, and the protesters pretty much “stepped in it,” so to speak. How could they avoid it? They didn’t have any bowls. And once again, these people were revealed as the true posers, charlatans, and emotional children that they are.
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