https://amgreatness.com/2019/10/21/everyone-knows-a-mitt-romney/
After Romney’s anonymous Twitter account was exposed, he fessed up. Then he did the most Romney-esque thing ever: He protected his account.
Mitt Romney is that guy.
The kid who made the team because his parents donated big dough to the school but gives footwork advice to the other legit athletes. The fraternity brother who wore khakis to keg parties and drank Bartles and Jaymes out of a solo cup but pretended it was beer. The office colleague who cribbed someone else’s idea from a presentation or an email chain and passed it off as his own to the boss. Then he became the executive who inspires only eyerolls during his weekly motivational session. “How the hell did this guy get this far?!” everyone internally screams.
He secretly keeps squeezy balls in his desk drawer to calm his nerves before he has to call the boss, and, when those fail to ease his jitters, he keeps a bottle of Rumchata in the file cabinet just in case.
He’s a 31 handicap and he doesn’t even count all his strokes. He wears CrossFit gear but does water aerobics. He owns a Porsche but won’t drive it more than 59 miles per hour. He starts laughing before he tells a joke because he knows he can’t deliver but is trying to get you to play along. He pretends to know the words to Metallica and Guns N’ Roses and the Violent Femmes while playing air guitar on his Bobolat racket, but his iPod is loaded with Barry Manilow and Celine Dion.
A guy with so much cringe who thinks he’s boffo: Cowardice camouflaged in smugness.
In other words, a fraud. A phony. And, because losing presidential candidates never die, they just relocate to another state and run for the U.S. Senate, the American people must now tolerate the national version of the Mitt Romney We All Know In Real Life.
