https://quadrant.org.au/magazine/2018/11/please-screaming-leftoids-louder-protests/
FROM AUSTRALIA—-UPFRONT FROM DOWN UNDER
As a connoisseur of the genre, I’ve established a strict protocol for ranking the quality of left-wing protests. This protocol has evolved through decades of observing leftists marching, shouting, attacking opponents, weeping, waving banners and cheering speeches from people you’d ordinarily find on a housing rental warning list.
Not all leftist protests, you see, are pitched at the same qualitative or creative level. They may all initially appear, before an inexperienced onlooker, to be of equal pointlessness and stupidity. But to an expert, every individual protest fits into a clearly defined and differentiated hierarchy of pointlessness and stupidity.
The next time you witness or read about a left-wing protest, please do not immediately dismiss it as a nonsensical indulgence committed by work-shy whiners whose collective contribution to cultural or civilisational advancement is less than that of a solitary day-old dust mite.
Instead, first consider where that protest qualifies under the rigorous and scientifically-sound Blair Protest Ranking System.
And then dismiss it. Let us begin.
Placed on the very lowest rung are protests that never happen. These are typically proposed during Australian and US federal election campaigns in which a conservative candidate may be victorious, and involve threats to move overseas if the conservative is elected.
Canada and New Zealand are the standard options, but there are others. During the 2016 US election, celebrities Chelsea Handler, Bryan Cranston, Chloe Sevigny, Barry Diller, Lena Dunham, Jon Stewart, Neve Campbell, Samuel L. Jackson, Amy Schumer, Miley Cyrus, Omari Hardwick, Keegan-Michael Key, Eddie Griffin, Ali Wentworth and Cher all vowed to flee if Donald Trump won. Their destinations included Spain, Canada, “another planet” (Jon Stewart), Africa, Italy, Mexico, Sydney and Jupiter (Cher). But then Trump easily defeated Hillary Clinton and not one celeb phoned a removalist. What’s the difference between a Trump-hating millionaire leftist and Donald Trump? The President keeps his promises.