A presidential campaign is figuratively called a “race.” Two runners sprint toward the Election Day finish line for the prize of the presidency.
But the 2016 presidential campaign has spawned lots of weird races.
The first sprint is one between embarrassments and scandals.
Will another WikiLeaks disclosure confirm that Hillary Clinton is a dishonest and conniving hypocrite? Or will yet another open-mic tape, disgruntled beauty queen, or old Howard Stern interview remind us that Donald Trump’s private life was — and perhaps still is — uncouth?
The winner will be the candidate leaked about the least by Election Day.
Here, Trump might have an odd edge. Even the most lurid disclosures will only confirm what we already knew about his vulgarity. But any more leaks about Clinton could shatter the crumbling facade depicting her as a highly respected and ethical establishmentarian.
Another race is between the relative health of the two candidates.
At 68, Clinton seems too frail. At 70, Trump seems too frenetic. This race is nearing the home stretch to see whether Clinton stumbles, nearly faints, or goes into a coughing fit. Or will the sleepless Trump stay on his Twitter feed at 3 a.m. to self-destruct in feuds with another former beauty queen or Republican kingpin?
Democrats want to pep up Clinton. Republicans want to calm down Trump. For now, worries over Clinton’s poor health seem to be outracing Trump’s nocturnal mania.
A third race is one of defections within the candidates’ respective parties.
Leaked e-mails revealed that in the primaries, the Clinton campaign colluded with the supposedly neutral Democratic National Committee. The leaks also confirmed that Clinton’s team derided Bernie Sanders’s youthful mob of supporters as a conglomeration of snotty perpetual adolescents stuck in their parents’ basements. During his campaign, Sanders charged that Clinton was a Wall Street toady. Clinton denied it. Leaks substantiated Sanders’s claim.