If this is Tuesday, it must be… Belgium… oops, Denmark. Sorry, Belgium was last week. It was Copenhagen [1] this time under jihadist attack… scratch that again… I meant “random violence.” Is that correct, Mr. President? A few weeks ago, it was some “folks at a deli” in Paris, now it’s some “folks standing in front of a synagogue” in Cope. Koinky-dinky, as the kids say. What next?
Oh, no.. Don’t tell me ISIS has got us surrounded in Anbar [2]? Sorry, I meant ISIL. I thought they were the jayvee team. Oh, right, they’re “on the defensive” [3] and Congress has an ““extraordinary opportunity.” [4]
That’s fine then. Don’t be upset, you “progressives” at the Huffington Post [5] and Vox [6]. This is just a police matter — like parking tickets or, at worst, running a red light. All this 1938 talk is a bunch of nonsense from wingnuts. History never repeats itself except, as Marx told us, as farce [7]. Chairman Barack’s got it all handled. He’s holding a conference on “extremism.” And he has a new pen pal [8]. No, it’s not Netanyahu.