RUTHFULLY YOURS

The Muslim Brotherhood (MB) is “demanding” on their website that the West criminalize assaults on Islam (story here). But whereas our Campaigner-in-Chief is out and about raising money for his reelection campaign (e.g., on Wednesday, as details and body counts from the Libyan and Egyptian attacks began to emerge, Mr. Obama flew to Las Vegas for a campaign fundraiser in front of a cheering but clueless crowd, along with the usual bobbleheads seated directly behind him); and

Whereas our illustrious Secretary of State and her cohorts at the State Dept are busy issuing incoherent statements;

We felt the courtesy of a response would be much appreciated by the MB (indeed, the entire Arab/Muslim world), so here is our letter:

Dear “Devout Muslims,”

Although the MB and yourselves are hardly in a position to demand anything of the West, much less the US, in the spirit of cooperation we’d like to offer the following suggestion: Before demanding that we criminalize “assaults” (of the verbal kind) on Islam, why don’t you criminalize (and punish) assaults of the verbal and physical kinds on Christianity, Judaism and for that matter all religions, which you devout folk have a habit of vilifying, mocking, offending, demeaning, insulting, reviling and defaming on a daily basis? Until then, as we say here in America: Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

Also, please note that we plan on demanding that our Campaigner-in-Chief (who serves at the pleasure of the American people) and his administration STOP defining deviancy down and prefacing every condemnation of an Islamic terror attack (sorry, but those who attack us in the name of their religion, get labeled as such) with grandiose statements about:

♦ The greatness of your religion;

♦ Your religion being the Religion of Peace, with a “proud tradition of tolerance” (no less);

♦ Your religion’s many contributions to mankind (btw – could you please forward us a list of said contributions in, say, the last millennium?); or

♦ How the overwhelming majority of Muslims are “peace-loving, law-abiding individuals.” No one’s accused ALL Muslims of being bad. That would be like saying all Germans in Nazi Germany were bad (although one can’t help but wonder what kind of culture or society allows murderous movements to grow and flourish in its midst). In any case, we reiterate, not all Muslims are terrorists, but 99% of terrorist attacks in the world have been perpetrated by Muslims.

Anyhoo, those of us who know anything about the Middle East, know you guys consider the a/m statements to be condescending, sycophantic and a sign of weakness, and on that we agree. You’ll have to forgive our President for making these statements, since he views himself as a great Islamic (and all-around) scholar, who knows and understands the Arab/Islamic world better than anyone, including yourselves.

Don’t ask us based on what, or the reasons for his belief, as we’re still scratching our heads over how he, or anyone else could think of Mr. Obama as an expert on matters of national security/foreign policy?!

As for that obscure YouTube video about you-know-who, i.e., the video that Sec of State Hillary Clinton is going around apologizing for, you should know: Those of us who viewed the first 10 seconds of it could see that anyone with even the semblance of a brain would never take it seriously. It was, after all, what we in America call a real box office stinker, i.e., adolescent, amateurish, moronic and boring. So give us at least some credit for knowing this video was not the reason for your barbaric convulsions over the last few days.

[BTW – You’ve probably heard by now that the IMBECILE who created/produced this idiotic piece of trash and who called himself Sam Bacille, is a convicted felon and scam artist living in California, whose real name is Nakoula Basseley Nakoula. Apparently he’s one of yours, i.e., an Egyptian Arab, although he belongs to one of your tolerant culture’s persecuted minorities – Coptic Christians. His false assertion that he was an “Israeli Jew” showed him to be little more than a gutless wonder, ready to throw anyone under the bus, so don’t send him to us for any character references.]

We know that the real reason for your barbaric hissy fits was your innate hatred of “the West” (i.e., America). The US administration’s pathetic reaction/response to the murders and riots of the past few days; and the tentative reaction of the American people and/or lack of visible anger (yes, we know our default position of always questioning what we did wrong makes us the brunt of jokes in your part of the world) only added fuel to the fire. But, hey, we’ve got our own problems to deal with and have neither the inclination nor the time to worry about offending your delicate (mutilating & beheading) sensibilities.

So here’s a thought: Stay away from us and our friends, and we’ll stay away from you. Keep your “devout” malcontents at home, far away from our shores. Handle your own problems and don’t come to us for help. And if you truly miss us, well, we’ll always have the annual gathering of Cesspool Central (aka the UN General Assembly), to meet over a cup of joe.

But please be forewarned: Mess with us, or our friends and we will respond with disproportionate force. Think of us, if you will, as mad dogs, i.e., too dangerous to bother. This way we can all live in peace, love and harmony.

And finally, we would greatly appreciate it if you could circulate a copy of this letter to your brethren throughout the Arab/Muslim world.

Respectfully yours,

The Five Percent *

[* In case you’re wondering, we derive our name from Thomas Edison’s famous quote: “Five percent of the people think; ten percent of the people think they think; and the other eighty-five percent would rather die than think.”]