RUTHFULLY YOURS

As we go to press, polls are showing America’s largest swing state in a dead head between Romney and Obama. Florida has 29 electoral votes and the third largest “Hispanic” population in America. Normally this means a cakewalk for any Democrat.

But whoops! Turns out that about a third of these Florida Hispanics (Cuban-Americans) are actually Hispanic—as in Americans whose ancestors hail almost exclusively from Europe’s Iberian Peninsula known as “Hispania” by the Romans. So, as a broken clock is right twice a day, the term “Hispanic” as used by the mainstream media, can actually be correct about 1/1000 of the time (i.e. when it refers to Cuban-Americans).

A poll last week of voters in Florida’s Miami-Dade county by the Miami Herald found the following breakdown:

Obama Romney Undecided

White: 64% 30% 6%

Black: 95% 2% 3%

Hispanic: 33% 62% 5%

“Hey, wait a minute!” liberals wail. “But every poll on the planet shows Obama with at least 70% of the U.S. Hispanic vote. So what’s going on here?”

Americans of Cuban heritage as usual, that’s what’s going on. The Miami Herald poll broke it down further, noting that Cuban-Americans support Obama 19%, Romney 76% and 5% are undecided.

In brief: no ethnic group in the U.S. comes even close to matching Cuban-Americans in their level of disdain for President Barack Obama in particular and the Democratic Party in general.

Their nonconformity is such that these insufferable Cuban-Americans drove an exasperated pollster to stop polling in areas they are known to infest, including in south Florida. “Eduardo Gamarra, a registered Democrat of Bolivian descent,” reports the Miami Herald about a pollster from Florida International University last week, “actually had to scale back the number of Cuban-American respondents in the poll, a process known as ‘weighting,’….Gamarra stopped polling in South Florida all together when he concluded the three-day survey last week in order to reach other Hispanics.”

“The difference [with polling] in Florida,” reads the Miami Herald story, “are Cuban voters. Without them, the FIU poll shows, Obama would handily win likely Florida Hispanic voters 65-32 percent. Not only are Cubans reliable Republican voters — they’re about 70 percent of Miami-Dade’s registered Republicans.”

“You keep hearing about a liberalization of the vote with younger, second-generation Cubans,” wailed Democratic pollster Gamarra. “But the polls are not showing it. Young Cubans are starting to look more Republican than their parents.”

Which is saying a lot.

These insufferable political mavericks have often goaded the Democratic/media axis into enraged sputterings against them. “Truly disgusting,” was how Bryant Gumbel characterized the Cuban-Americans demonstrating against shanghaiing Elian Gonzalez back to Castro. Five years ago Georgetown professor Norman Birnbaum, an advisor to three Democratic presidential candidates and today a columnist for The Daily Beast, labeled “Miami-Cubans” a “truly reprehensible” group. In 2008, one of America’s most influential newspapers, the Washington Post, ran a cartoon celebrating Cuban-Americans’ expulsion from the U.S. en masse.

Study the cartoon and imagine the fire (literal, perhaps) if instead of fedoras (which are rarely worn by Cuban-Americans) the group depicted in the cartoon had worn kuffiyehs, burkhas and chadors. What if the boat’s passengers had been labeled “nappy-headed” and were headed for Africa? Imagine the rallies in Los Angeles, Phoenix and Chicago if they’d worn sombreros.

Such cartoons are indeed imaginable with other ethnic groups — but only with Uncle Sam cast as the villain, wearing a white hood, a swastika, or an Ann Coulter mask. In dispatching Cuban-American Republicans, Uncle Sam smiles benevolently while handing the boat’s ethnic occupants off to a Stalinist gulag. “Ha-ha!”

The head explodes imagining the mainstream media reaction against such depictions against any other ethnic group.

“Cuba Policy isn’t made in Washington,” once griped Bill Press in a CNN column. “It’s made in Miami by former Batista supporters who think they can reverse history.”

“Bush’s defense of the [Cuban] embargo serves a family voting bloc and little else,” griped Kathleen Parker in a column years ago.

“A small number of powerful exiles in South Florida cow our politicians into keeping the crazy Cuban policy,” once griped media baron Al Neuharth in USA Today.

All this takes talent, amigos. Around our domino tables we snicker derisively at those bumbling Trilateralists. Between sips of our mojitos we guffaw and slap our thighs at the incompetence of the Bilderbergers and Rothschilds. We Cuban-Americans are the Illuminati to beat all Illuminati, the slickest of the slick. We watch “Godfather II” and snort scornfully. That was a chump operation Mikey Corleone pulled on Nevada Senator Geary with that dead prostitute. We would have had him in our pocket for half the trouble.

We watch “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” and direct our boos and hisses at Jimmy Stewart. What a fuddy-duddy.

Cuban-Americans have managed to get Bill Buckley and Gore Vidal, Chris Dodd and Larry Craig, The Brookings Institution and the Cato Institute, the Wall Street Journal and The Nation, The U.S. Communist Party and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce — all on the same side of an issue. All of the above have come out publicly against the so-called Cuban embargo. All blame it on the “politically powerful” and “well-heeled” Cuban-American lobby.

Thank you kindly.

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