RUTHFULLY YOURS

Congratulations on becoming a filmmaker. So you’re in Canada promoting this film of yours “Rosewater.” Who knew you were so multi-talented.

Even those who do not watch your Daily Show know you as a comedian. So it comes as a surprise to find you making headlines as a Serious Person.

So this keeps coming up, about your hostility towards Israel and complaints that you are a self-hating Jew…and now where are all the writers you depend on for your material? I ask because to be quite honest something terrible happens when you stop being funny.

You become just another hotheaded jerk. Who knew you had such a large chip on your shoulder?

Maybe on the basis of one movie you imagine yourself an auteur. Well hold the chariots, Mr. DeMille.

So I’m reading (courtesy of Canada’s National Post) that you are beyond reproach because you lost family in the Holocaust. That’s an obnoxious evasion.

Every single Jewish person suffered the same infamy. You won’t get sympathy on the basis of being an orphan.

You resent being defined. That’s how this spat began, over your spiteful anti-Israel remarks when Israel was fighting for its life. You defined.

I have not seen too many Israeli Arabs fleeing to Iraq or Syria.
You resent being judged. Imagine how Israelis feel every minute of the day. You judged.

Nobody asked your opinion. Nobody asked you to find your inner Jewishness. Who cares? But when you spoke up we found you to be a turncoat.

That is where you lost us…and you sure can dish it out but when someone taps you on the shoulder, goodness how touchy you get.

Since when did you become an expert on Israel? Are you a student of history, geography, religion — the Torah? Or is Jewish suffering your idea of a gag?

No one is asking you to support the Jewish State. But since you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, least you can do is shut up.

There is plenty of that business coming from Russell Brand and Roger Waters and here’s a headline that just came in: “UN General Assembly Committee Adopts 9 Resolutions in 1 Day Condemning Israel – 9 Times More Than Any Other State.” Nice company you keep.

You accuse the Jewish State of oppression. Obviously you have never been there or haven’t been there in a while because nowhere in the entire Arab world are Arabs as free, as prosperous and as healthy as they are in Israel. Yes they complain but I have not seen too many Israeli Arabs fleeing to Iraq or Syria.

But here I go getting preachy when I’m trying to be funny. Well I do not have a staff of 20 writers.

So all by myself I ask what you mean by that crack in Toronto…”A thousand more [Jewish] acres on the West Bank? Why?”

Why not?

Since you are such an expert on the Holocaust, you must be aware that before and during the Holocaust Jews were kept confined within zones.

They were roped, trapped and restricted into ghettos. Two thousand years of this.

Israel was redeemed to allow Jews to breathe, think, speak and move freely. No more restrictions. How is that a problem?

To imagine that Israelis must abide by a code of confinement is to imagine unspeakable intolerance, discrimination and bigotry.

Being Jewish or being anybody permits you to build a thousand acres anywhere in the United States of America. Anywhere!

Why not Israel?

Discuss with your gag writers and get back. We’re waiting for an answer, and make it funny. We can use a good laugh.

Jack Engelhard writes a regular column for Arutz Sheva. Engelhard wrote the int’l bestseller Indecent Proposal that was translated into more than 22 languages and turned into a Paramount motion picture starring Robert Redford and Demi Moore. New from the novelist, media bias fully exposed in The Bathsheba Deadline – and the heralded anti-BDS thriller Compulsive. Website: www.jackengelhard.com