https://spectator.us/joe-biden-picks-first-female-veep/
Cockburn attended Joe Biden’s virtual press conference on Wednesday afternoon. As he struggled to keep his eyes open, he noticed a small piece of paper by Biden’s elbow — a list of names, written in a shaky hand. So Cockburn screenshotted it, then turned his desktop upside down. Here’s Joe Biden’s shortlist for America’s first female vice president:
Eleanor Roosevelt
Why sandbag the Senate when you can handbag it? Mrs Roosevelt is a rising star of the Democratic left’s woke wing. She’s never seen in public without her handbag, and it’s crammed with big plans for the post-COVID-19 bounce-back. The Whalemen’s Union has already endorsed her proposal to bring American industry back from China, starting with a WPA-style program to revive the corset-making industry. She’s also planning for an all-American 5G network made from hemp cables, and she’s working with Elon Musk on low-carbon public transport by horse and cart.
Nina Simone
Fiery folk and jazz piano-basher Simone was an early supporter of Biden’s bold plan to put a record player in the home of every Negro family. As president, Biden will resume the hallowed tradition, begun in the Obama years and sadly abandoned during the Trump interregnum, of tweeting out the presidential playlist on public holidays. Vice President Simone will bring youthful pep and classical chops to Biden’s list of favorite 78s. Goodbye Perry Como, hello Harry Belafonte!