He is the very model of a major U.S. General
With information vegetable, animal, and mineral
He know the royals of England, and can quote fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
He’s very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
And understands equations, both the simple and quadratical
On issues of religion he is really quite Canonical
With Predilections for the issues quite Koranical
For his military knowledge, though he’s plucky and adventury
Has only been around for the beginning of the century
In fact, he knows what is meant by “mamelon” and “ravelin”
And he can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties and surprises he’s more wary at
But he knows precisely what is meant by “commissariat”
He knows what progress has been made in modern gunnery
And he knows more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
He has a smattering of elemental strategy and surge,
But couldn’t fight that elemental urge
They say in distant ports there’s nothing like a Broad, Well
That certain tumescence he couldn’t quell
But he is the very model of a patriotic general
He is a soldier at heart and will tell all
On Hillary’s sword he will not fall
