http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2011/10/together-i-shall-ride-you-to-victory.html
Together, I Shall Ride You To Victory A Very Special Announcement by T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII
In the long steeplechase of human events, the course ofttimes wends its way through a dense forest of uncertainty; into which the horseman must dash headlong through the hazardous branches of Doubt, surmount the briary hedgerows of Fear, only to confront the crossroads of Destiny. Here, the wizened old course-keeper Fate drops a gauntlet of challenge: down one path awaits doom, down the other victory and apres-race cocktails. Which path shall the rider choose? It is the fortunate horse indeed upon whom is mounted a rider equal to Destiny’s challenge, and wise to Fate’s trickery; for he can be sure that with every whip of the rider’s crop he is one gallop closer to the stables of security. And thus, today, I dismount to retrieve Fate’s gauntlet, strike him smartly across his face, and declare my official candidacy for the Republican nomination for President of the United States.